Full Circle...

It's strange, yet comforting how life comes full circle. This summer had been filled with so many deaths for me, that I have found myself waiting/hoping/praying for something "good" to happen. I don't mean that nothing good has happened, but it feels as if the people that I have lost lately have overshadowed the good things. I've tried not to let that happen, but it has been hard. This weekend, my "good" finally came. God has been so gracious to me and helped me through these hard times, so I don't want to sound as if I have overlooked him during this time. I just feel as if I'm finally getting back on my feet a little better. I know there will still be tough times in life, like always, but for now I'm trying very hard to enjoy the happy times. 

For starters, I had another wedding to attend. I've been to several this summer and they have all been a lot of fun and it's been great seeing my friends start a new time in their life. Here's a group of Clemson folks at Jesse &  Jena's wedding yesterday. It was a small wedding and it was beautiful. I haven't seen most of these people in awhile and it was nice to just hang out and be with them. I have to

 say, though, it made me think of my Papa and how when the time come for my marriage that he won't physically be there to see it. But, I know he will see it happen from Heaven along with my Mom and the rest of my family up there. So I had a little time of sadness during the wedding, but I tried hard not to let it show. We really did have a great time and I am so happy for the new Mr. and Mrs. Brown!!

The other really wonderful thing that happened just early this morning was my new baby cousin arrived! My cousin, Joni, who has probably been one of the closest family members to me growing up had her first baby. She had a bit of a rough labor, but is doing well now, and so is Kayley. I am so excited for this baby to come, our family needs something happy and good to lift us up. Sometimes we need to be reminded that God is watching out for us and he knows what is best. 

   Oh and I got to see one of my old Clemson roommates Friday night. Katie came to visit and we went to dinner. It was great seeing her and catching up. She's been married now for about 5 1/2 months and her husband, Jamie, now has a new job that he is training for. It's always fun to hear what people have been up to, especially those that I spent so much time with and don't get to see very much now. 

   I am looking forward to seeing what else is to come my way in the next few months. My sister turns 30 soon and my Dad turns 60!! We have a lot to be thankful for and it's always fun to have some big birthdays to celebrate! 

Good but stuffy weekend...

    Yep I've had the stuffy head/nose/throat junk all weekend, but it was still a good weekend. I saw my niece in Homecoming, went to my 6 yr. old cousin's birthday party, visited with my Granny, saw Alex, went to my nephew George's Christening, and cleaned up a little! It was hectic but it was filled with all family, which was nice. I guess I needed some family (but maybe not so much in a short period of time!) 

    However, this morning was not a good morning to be stuffy. I've been working with a little boy that is like a jumping bean X5. He is all over the place, but he is not behaviorally bad, he just can't sit still. And he is so cute and loves to hug, etc. But, this is not easy to deal with when you have allergy stuff going on. We got through it, though, and I think I am almost finished working with him. He reminds me a lot of a little boy I worked with when I did my internship in Fort Mill. Lots of energy, and just no time for school in all that energy!

    I've also been working on scanning some family photos so that the rest of the family can have copies of them. My Granny had a box of pictures stuffed under her bed that were cracking, turning yellow, and tearing. About a year and a half ago I pulled them out and sat down with her and had her tell me who everyone was. Thankfully, she remembered them all - I have no idea how. Especially the baby pictures! They all look alike to me, especially in black and white. I put them all in an album for her so she could have them with her at her assisted living. But, of course we don't have copies to go around, so I'm scanning them for right now. There are several in there of my Papa and Granny.  I stuck a picture of them on here, but I haven't figured out how I can put it in a p lace other than the top. So it's up there somewhere! 

    Well I'm off to get some sleep and hopefully get rid of some more stuffiness. Oh and my old roommate called and we are getting together Friday... I'm excited, haven't seen her in awhile. It's so hard to get together when people don't live so close anymore! She has a dog too, so Dixie will have a friend to visit as well!

Life evolves...

I had an interesting, but great night. I called my Dad after work since Alex was still working, to see if he wanted to go eat dinner or something. Well, it ended up that I brought dinner over and then I cut grass for the first time ever!!! Yep, first time. It's not that I ever refused to do it, it just never came up. So I cut grass while my Dad used the weed eater. 

After we both came inside we started talking about my Papa and how much we miss him. It's been two weeks tonight that he passed away. It was very tough, but hopefully he knew we were there with him while he was taking his last breaths. I've never been in a room when someone passed away, and it's not something I want to make a habit of, but I would do it again for my Papa. Things haven't always been easy with him, especially for the past 4-5 years, when he went to a nursing home. Unfortunately we just could not care for him at home, and he didn't understand that. BUT, for about the past year his attitude changed and we had a lot of good visits with each other. I went to see him almost every single weekend since I moved back to Spartanburg. I also saw him in the hospital this last time and fed him when I happened to be there during a meal. I know he was not in good health, but you still miss people. I just have a lot of emotions right now about him because he has gone to the hospital so many times and bounced back. I didn't quite realize just how sick he was this time until he had been there about 4 days. The doctor told us that if he made it through this time, the things he was dealing with would eventually take him. 

Let me tell you a little about how the past year has been for me. Last November, my stepgrandfather passed away. This is Georgia's dad, who I was not extremely close to, but he meant a lot to Georgia's family, so in turn, he meant a lot to me. Also, he reminded me so much of my other Grandfather who died 13 years ago. Both tall, slender, and men of little words. They were always there, but in a quiet way. So, after that, my great Uncle Oscar died in April. He was 88 and died in his sleep on his birthday. He went the way I would love to go, but it was a big shock. Then in July a good family friend of ours died of colon cancer and my great Aunt Ethel died. Wait, not done yet... in August, my great uncle Billy died. So far my Granny had lost two siblings and my Papa one. Now, a lot of you may think, so what, they were your great uncle or aunt. Well, my family is close, especially my Granny's, and they meant a lot to me and the rest of my family. 

Well things continued and the Monday before Labor Day my Papa went into the hospital. He had a lot of fluid on his lungs and several other continuing problems he was already dealing with. Things got really bad the next Wednesday and we knew he wasn't going to make it. Wednesday night before he passed was awful, he was agitated, unable to talk to us, and just not doing well. Thursday the doctors and my family determined the best thing to do was make him comfortable so about 7pm we made the move in the hospital to Palliative Care... it is where basically we know the people are dying, and it's an area where they make the patient comfortable and have rooms more suited for families to be in. The people there were wonderful and took such good care of my Papa and us for the next 5 hours. It was tough, sad, heart wrenching, but my family was together through it all. 

Since I've jumped all around in this post, I'll end with what my title means. My Dad said he wanted me to know at least one thing and that is "life evolves." He said people will come and go in our lives as we change and move on to different phases. He told me it won't always be easy, but that's ok, it's not supposed to be. We continued to talk for over an hour, just the two of us, about life, death, family, friends, good, bad, etc. I have to say I'm blessed to have a father like I do and family and friends that I have. Even those that I'm not in contact with anymore and those I haven't even met yet. I'm thankful for them all. 

Where to start?

Sooo, this is my first attempt at blogging. No, take that back, 2nd attempt. The first didn't go so well (obviously) so I'm trying again. I just need a place to put down my thoughts and anything else I feel the need to share. My life has been pretty crazy/upside down/unnormal/tough for awhile now. I'll start with how I got the name for my blog... "Never The Same." My computer is in my extra bedroom, along with a lot of my books that have to do with psychology and education - seeing as how I am a school psychologist, this makes sense. Well I was trying to think of a name and I looked over at my books and the first one I looked at is called Never The Same... Coming to Terms With The Death of a Parent. It fits me since I have lost a parent, and because I feel that no day is ever like any other. I have lots of things I could talk (type) about right now, but just thought I would start with something simple, like talking about me! :) 

I live in Spartanburg, SC and am starting my second year as a school psychologist. For those that don't know what that is, it is NOT a guidance counselor, and it is NOT one of those people that tries to "figure you out." I work with students who are in special education or who might need special education. I do a lot of evaluating students, this includes looking at their cognitive (IQ) ability, achievement, social/emotional issues, and whatever else might come up. I really enjoy it, but it definitely has it's moments of being tough, but things always lighten up when I work with a student that does something to make me laugh or smile. 

I live with my dog, Dixie, who is almost 5 years old and is the sweetest pound puppy ever. People think she is a pit bull, but she isn't. She keeps me lots of company and I probably would not have made it through grad school without her. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Alex, whom I have been dating for almost 5 years... yep 5!!! About the only question I get about him is when we are getting married. Well my answer is only God knows! We talk about it some, but honestly we are just enjoying dating each other and being with each other, friends, and family. We have no need to rush anything (obviously, since it's been 5 years), and I'm ok with that. There are still things we learn about each other all the time and we are not a "typical" couple living at home with our parents waiting to leave the nest. We have one parent between the two of us, when often people have 4. Of course, every couple is unique, but anyone that knows Alex, knows he is definitely one of a kind!! Which is why I love him so much. 

Well, much more to come about my life, work, family, and friends. I hope I can make it past one post on this blog!