see you next year!

I can't believe that 2008 is almost over! Time does seem to go faster the older I get. It honestly doesn't feel like I have been out of grad school for a year and a half, out of college 4 years, and high school 8 years! I can say, though, that a lot has happened in the past year and I am looking forward to a new year with hopefully much happier things going on. My Granny is in the hospital again, she went in this past Sunday so anyone reading this please say some prayers for her and our family. It doesn't appear to be anything too serious, but you just never know. On a much happier note, I hope that everyone has a wonderful New Year's and I'm sure I will have a good story after being at Alex's tonight... he always seems to build a fire that attracts the fire dept! 

The family zoo and the real zoo!

Saturday was the day my Mom's family got together. We went to my Aunt Betty Jo's house in North Carolina. We were only missing 3 people out of the family, so we had almost everyone there. We ate plenty and enjoyed a few presents. I think the highlight was when my Grandmother gave my little cousin a singing reindeer that sang "Grandma Got Ran Over By a Reindeer!" My cousin wasn't really sure what to do, he just stared at it. There is always something interesting that happens when this family gets together. It was also entertaining when my aunts dog took a leap from the couch to an ottoman and misjudged. She jumped right into the side of it and landed sprawled on the floor. It just so happened that she did this while we were all very quiet, but it definitely woke us up... and yes the dog is ok. 

My sister came home Saturday evening and yesterday we spent lots of family time together. We couldn't decide what we wanted to do last night so we ended up going to see the Hollywild lights.  I had not been in about 8 years and my Dad and sister said it was longer than that for them. So, we of course waited in the car for about 2 hours before getting to the entrance but we had lots of fun in the car. The lights were great and worth seeing. The deer forest was really cool... there had to have been at least 300 deer, they were everywhere and they just let everyone drive all around in the fence with 

the deer. We noticed a pack of cars not moving and realized there were 2 zebra (well one was a zebra, the other looked like a 1/2 zebra 1/2 donkey). Well one of the zebras had walked up to a van and stood right against the van's hood and would not move. There was a car right behind the fan, so the van was trapped. We watched the zebra for about 10 minutes and he never moved. Meanwhile, his friend decided to come visit us to see if we had food, he stuck his head in the car and when he realized we had nothing, he went on his way! I'm guessing the other zebra eventually moved, but I think he was trying to get warm by the engine heat. Who knows... but it was again entertaining! 

I guess between the dog leaping to the floor and the zebra getting warm it was a fun and interesting weekend! Now I have 2 weeks off and I am soo excited! Merry Christmas everyone!

Christmas Spirit...

I'm really starting to get into the Christmas spirit now! You can see I'm in the process of making something for the teachers and other psychologists I work with. No way can I buy anything big, but taking the time to make something is fun and low cost. I love my new shivering monkey stamp and it fit just right with the one that said "May the spirit of the season warm your heart all year long." Of course I paired it with some yummy hot chocolate (my favorite!) that was even on sale at the store today! So, I'm just hanging out with Dixie making some treats for tomorrow!

Seasons Greetings...

 Ok, so I got behind again! I often think about what I want to put on here, but actually doing it is another thing. Besides, there are probably only about 2 people that actually read it. Anyway the first Saturday of December, every year, at 12:00, my Granny's family gets together for the "Smith Reunion." I think they have been doing this for over 30 years. And this year, with 3 less family members it was very bittersweet. I was a little anxious about going because I really wasn't sure how happy of a time it would be. Not only were we without 3 people, it was 3 major people... the heads of the family. My Papa, My Granny's sister - Ethel, and my Granny's brother - Oscar. But of course the entire family had no doubt that we would still have the reunion. And so on Dec. 6th my Dad, Georgia, and I went to Matthews, NC for the reunion. I have to say that I could not have been more wrong about how it would be this year. Yes we talked about those we were missing and there were a few tears, but I think everyone was more determined than ever to make it a happy time. We had so much fun talking, catching up, and of course the music was great. It's always been a tradition for my uncles to play along with anyone else that wants to. My Dad has even been up there since he has taken guitar lessons. I have several cousins that play and of course we have a few singers. You can see in the pictures that the little ones love to use the microphone and my Uncle Arthur still amazes me. He is 87 years old and in a wheelchair, but he can still play "Guitar Boogie" just like when he was 20. I just love to hear him play, and it's special every year because I know he won't be with us forever. It's also special to see the other family members up there, especially my Dad. He sits at the back away from any microphones, but he really enjoys being up there. 

     On another note, I just LOVE Christmas decorations, the cuter the better. So, this weekend while Alex did his manly things outside working on stuff, I stayed inside and made decorations. I had seen a few things online and thought I would try it out. I made a peppermint wreath and then used styrofoam cone shapes to make 

two trees... one with gumdrops and one with berries and cinnamon candies. I'm not sure how they will be packed up for next year, but I will definitely use them well this year!! It's fun to go and buy decorations, but I really like to make things when I have the time. And I have to say, I only burned myself twice with the hot glue gun, which is pretty good for me :) 

Thankful...

It's almost Thanksgiving and of course that makes you think of what you are thankful for. Today I went and had Thanksgiving lunch with my good friend Max... he's 5 years old. I work with his mom and she had a meeting today she couldn't miss and her husband works out of town... but we didn't want Max to be the only kid without a parent there, so I stepped in. We had a lot of fun, and had some really good food. So, of course, I'm thankful for friends. I also got to spend some time last night with my new baby cousin. She is getting close to two months old and she is so sweet and I just love to hold her. I have a few friends with new babies, unfortunately they don't live here, but it's great having a cousin close by that I can go see!! Not much else to say other than I am truly thankful for all that I have and blessed beyond anything I could ever ask for or hope to ask for. 

Clemson Homecoming

     Yesterday was homecoming at Clemson... we went and hung out some downtown, looked at the floats, and then cooked out after the game. Alex and I didn't actually go into the game, but it was nice to hang out with just the two of us... well actually three of us - Dixie came too. But, she was sooo good and was off her leash the entire time we were cooking out and never once tried to run away. She was also fairly good about jumping on people, but I guess I can't expect her to not jump on anybody, especially when they are talking to her. She just gets so excited when you talk to her or when she wants you to throw the ball. Anyway, we got to see lots of friends we haven't seen in awhile and it was nice to be outside - until the sun went down and it got really cold. We are planning to have another get together around Christmas and I'm looking forward to that. 

     This month has been so busy, I've had no time to keep up with friends and have barely kept up with my family. I do enjoy the holidays and I went to Santa's Shoppe twice so I'm starting to get in the Christmas spirit. I just wonder how things will go without having my Papa this year. I also  have mixed feelings about going to our annual family reunion the first Sat. in December... there will be three families there that have lost someone very important in their lives. Of course, that means we all have lost three people... my Papa, and my Granny's sister and brother. It won't be the same without them but I am glad we will be able to be together and help each other through it. 

Surprise, surprise, surprise!

I guess I'm going to make up for lost time and post twice tonight. I forgot to mention my Dad's surprise 60th birthday we had! It actually was a big surprise for him and thanks to Georgia we pulled it off without too much stress. He did about drive us crazy earlier that day because he kept wanting to take Whit and Olivia to the mountains and we knew if that happened he would not make it back in time for the dinner. But, we made it through that and my sister even kept it a surprise that she was in town! We had a lot of fun and I'm glad we were finally able to do something great for him... he does sooo much for us! 

So, I'm pretty behind keeping up with the blog, but I'm still doing better than my last attempt at this. It's now November and it is really becoming fall, which means its getting colder. The time changed last night and so my internal clock is going to be off for the next few days. Thankfully, I work one day, then have a day off for Election Day. I'm very interested to see what happens with all the elections. No matter who wins the presidency, history will be made with either the president or vice-president. I'm just thankful we still have the right to choose and the right to vote. 

Halloween was a lot of fun. Whit and Olivia were so much fun to be around and love being dressed up. Olivia changed outfits 4 times I think, but Whit stuck with Darth Vader the entire night. He even played video games after dark in his cape. This is them with Mr. Pumpkin in their front yard... which became the place to come and take your picture as you were trick-or-treating! 

Last night Alex and I went to Greenville and met some friends at Wild Wings to watch the Clemson game. I have to say we both socialized more than we watched the game, but it was really nice to be around friends. In fact, two of the couples recently moved back to this area from other states, so it was great seeing them again. 

For the two or three people that read this, I do want to ask you to pray for me and my family. Several (if not all) of us are still going through a rough time with the deaths in our family. It's been two months since we lost my Papa and I've realized that I have taken it much harder than I thought I would and it has affected me in ways I did not expect. But, I'm slowly getting through it and getting some help with it, and being with friends and family definitely makes things better!

   Alex and I went to Fall for Greenville last night and it was an adventure. He kept saying how many places there were with just food!! Well, I had to break it to him, that was the whole point of it... to eat! And he was upset because they didn't have the one thing he wanted to eat... a turkey leg!?!! He survived and we had a good time, but it was very crowded and once it got past 9pm, the crowd definitely changed and we decided it was time for us to leave. 

    Oh and those 2 Kindergarten students I told you about? Well one is still bouncing off the walls, but I'm hoping things will settle down soon, is Mom is really trying and has some things planned out for him. The other one is having such a hard time, which I would to if I were in his shoes. He has so many emotions going through his little body that all he knows to do is cry. We have made some changes in his school day and I really hope that this will help him out. This week will definitely be different for him, I just pray it's in a good way!! On another kid note, I went yesterday with a group of special needs kids to Strawberry Hill where they ate ice cream, picked a pumpkin, and took a hayride. I'm in the Junior League this year and this is one of my placements. It was our first event with this group of kids and it was fun, and what was really great about it was that every child had a parent with them. It was nice to see parents caring for their children and doing something fun with them. Next weekend there is a Buddy Walk to raise awareness for kids with Down's Syndrome... I'm looking forward to it!

    (Here's 5 of the people I went through grad school with, we are missing 4 others)  I have recently gotten emails from my group that I went through grad school with. There were ten of us total that spent basically three years of our lives together. During that time we definitely had ups and downs and spent more time with each other than with our families! Through those 3 years and the 1 since we finished, 3 people got married, 3 had babies, and now 3 more of them are expecting!! Remember - there are only 10 of us! It's definitely a group of people I hope to always keep in contact with, for those of you that have been through grad school, you know that it forces you to get to know people so quickly before you even realize it. There is so much stress that comes with it and yet such a sense of accomplishment once it's over, I definitely could not have made it without these people! We are hoping to get together soon and I'm excited about that. 

Babies, work, football weather, and a few other things...

Well, it happened again... someone else died in my family. I hate to sound so flippant, but I'm sooo tired of going to funerals!! This is #5 for us since the end of April. #6 if you count the total in the last 11 months. In fact, I skipped this last funeral. It wasn't someone I was extremely close to, but when anyone dies it affects me. And lately, anything affects me. I have been crying at the drop of a hat, sometimes for a good reason and sometimes for no reason at all!  So, for the 2 people that read this... if I see you and I have watery eyes, I'm ok :0)

On a happier note, my new little cousin is so adorable. She's so tiny. I think it's easy to forget how little newborns are until you hold one. I have a good friend from high school that also had a baby recently and I'm really hoping to go see them next week. They live in Columbia and I haven't seen her in years, yep years. She stayed in Columbia after college and I continued on in school in Rock Hill, so we just haven't crossed paths. But, we have kept in touch and I miss seeing her and a lot of my friends from the pre-college years. It can be so hard to stay in touch when people are married, have kids, and "real jobs" to keep them busy. I have to say, though, I at least know what most of my "old" friends are doing and how they have been even if I haven't actually laid eyes on them in a few years. 

This is quite a rambling post so I'm going to continue jumping around and talk about work. It's been very very busy the past week or so. It's been going well, just busy. I just can't seem to get ahead, which is where I like to be. So, I'm not actually behind, and that's good. The kids I've had, though, just seem to be taking up so much time, and it's only the 7th week of school! I've got two K students who are bouncing off the walls, literally!! Unfortunately I can't glue them to a chair so we are working on getting them to settle down. If they both weren't so darn cute we would have an even bigger problem!

Well I am definitely loving this weather! I love fall!! I love that you can go out in a t-shirt and jeans and feel good. I can't wait for homecoming this year at Clemson. Alex and I don't plan to go to the game, but just tailgate and catch up with friends, which is what I really care about. So if anyone that reads this is one of those tailgating friends, we are planning to be there in November!

Full Circle...

It's strange, yet comforting how life comes full circle. This summer had been filled with so many deaths for me, that I have found myself waiting/hoping/praying for something "good" to happen. I don't mean that nothing good has happened, but it feels as if the people that I have lost lately have overshadowed the good things. I've tried not to let that happen, but it has been hard. This weekend, my "good" finally came. God has been so gracious to me and helped me through these hard times, so I don't want to sound as if I have overlooked him during this time. I just feel as if I'm finally getting back on my feet a little better. I know there will still be tough times in life, like always, but for now I'm trying very hard to enjoy the happy times. 

For starters, I had another wedding to attend. I've been to several this summer and they have all been a lot of fun and it's been great seeing my friends start a new time in their life. Here's a group of Clemson folks at Jesse &  Jena's wedding yesterday. It was a small wedding and it was beautiful. I haven't seen most of these people in awhile and it was nice to just hang out and be with them. I have to

 say, though, it made me think of my Papa and how when the time come for my marriage that he won't physically be there to see it. But, I know he will see it happen from Heaven along with my Mom and the rest of my family up there. So I had a little time of sadness during the wedding, but I tried hard not to let it show. We really did have a great time and I am so happy for the new Mr. and Mrs. Brown!!

The other really wonderful thing that happened just early this morning was my new baby cousin arrived! My cousin, Joni, who has probably been one of the closest family members to me growing up had her first baby. She had a bit of a rough labor, but is doing well now, and so is Kayley. I am so excited for this baby to come, our family needs something happy and good to lift us up. Sometimes we need to be reminded that God is watching out for us and he knows what is best. 

   Oh and I got to see one of my old Clemson roommates Friday night. Katie came to visit and we went to dinner. It was great seeing her and catching up. She's been married now for about 5 1/2 months and her husband, Jamie, now has a new job that he is training for. It's always fun to hear what people have been up to, especially those that I spent so much time with and don't get to see very much now. 

   I am looking forward to seeing what else is to come my way in the next few months. My sister turns 30 soon and my Dad turns 60!! We have a lot to be thankful for and it's always fun to have some big birthdays to celebrate! 

Good but stuffy weekend...

    Yep I've had the stuffy head/nose/throat junk all weekend, but it was still a good weekend. I saw my niece in Homecoming, went to my 6 yr. old cousin's birthday party, visited with my Granny, saw Alex, went to my nephew George's Christening, and cleaned up a little! It was hectic but it was filled with all family, which was nice. I guess I needed some family (but maybe not so much in a short period of time!) 

    However, this morning was not a good morning to be stuffy. I've been working with a little boy that is like a jumping bean X5. He is all over the place, but he is not behaviorally bad, he just can't sit still. And he is so cute and loves to hug, etc. But, this is not easy to deal with when you have allergy stuff going on. We got through it, though, and I think I am almost finished working with him. He reminds me a lot of a little boy I worked with when I did my internship in Fort Mill. Lots of energy, and just no time for school in all that energy!

    I've also been working on scanning some family photos so that the rest of the family can have copies of them. My Granny had a box of pictures stuffed under her bed that were cracking, turning yellow, and tearing. About a year and a half ago I pulled them out and sat down with her and had her tell me who everyone was. Thankfully, she remembered them all - I have no idea how. Especially the baby pictures! They all look alike to me, especially in black and white. I put them all in an album for her so she could have them with her at her assisted living. But, of course we don't have copies to go around, so I'm scanning them for right now. There are several in there of my Papa and Granny.  I stuck a picture of them on here, but I haven't figured out how I can put it in a p lace other than the top. So it's up there somewhere! 

    Well I'm off to get some sleep and hopefully get rid of some more stuffiness. Oh and my old roommate called and we are getting together Friday... I'm excited, haven't seen her in awhile. It's so hard to get together when people don't live so close anymore! She has a dog too, so Dixie will have a friend to visit as well!

Life evolves...

I had an interesting, but great night. I called my Dad after work since Alex was still working, to see if he wanted to go eat dinner or something. Well, it ended up that I brought dinner over and then I cut grass for the first time ever!!! Yep, first time. It's not that I ever refused to do it, it just never came up. So I cut grass while my Dad used the weed eater. 

After we both came inside we started talking about my Papa and how much we miss him. It's been two weeks tonight that he passed away. It was very tough, but hopefully he knew we were there with him while he was taking his last breaths. I've never been in a room when someone passed away, and it's not something I want to make a habit of, but I would do it again for my Papa. Things haven't always been easy with him, especially for the past 4-5 years, when he went to a nursing home. Unfortunately we just could not care for him at home, and he didn't understand that. BUT, for about the past year his attitude changed and we had a lot of good visits with each other. I went to see him almost every single weekend since I moved back to Spartanburg. I also saw him in the hospital this last time and fed him when I happened to be there during a meal. I know he was not in good health, but you still miss people. I just have a lot of emotions right now about him because he has gone to the hospital so many times and bounced back. I didn't quite realize just how sick he was this time until he had been there about 4 days. The doctor told us that if he made it through this time, the things he was dealing with would eventually take him. 

Let me tell you a little about how the past year has been for me. Last November, my stepgrandfather passed away. This is Georgia's dad, who I was not extremely close to, but he meant a lot to Georgia's family, so in turn, he meant a lot to me. Also, he reminded me so much of my other Grandfather who died 13 years ago. Both tall, slender, and men of little words. They were always there, but in a quiet way. So, after that, my great Uncle Oscar died in April. He was 88 and died in his sleep on his birthday. He went the way I would love to go, but it was a big shock. Then in July a good family friend of ours died of colon cancer and my great Aunt Ethel died. Wait, not done yet... in August, my great uncle Billy died. So far my Granny had lost two siblings and my Papa one. Now, a lot of you may think, so what, they were your great uncle or aunt. Well, my family is close, especially my Granny's, and they meant a lot to me and the rest of my family. 

Well things continued and the Monday before Labor Day my Papa went into the hospital. He had a lot of fluid on his lungs and several other continuing problems he was already dealing with. Things got really bad the next Wednesday and we knew he wasn't going to make it. Wednesday night before he passed was awful, he was agitated, unable to talk to us, and just not doing well. Thursday the doctors and my family determined the best thing to do was make him comfortable so about 7pm we made the move in the hospital to Palliative Care... it is where basically we know the people are dying, and it's an area where they make the patient comfortable and have rooms more suited for families to be in. The people there were wonderful and took such good care of my Papa and us for the next 5 hours. It was tough, sad, heart wrenching, but my family was together through it all. 

Since I've jumped all around in this post, I'll end with what my title means. My Dad said he wanted me to know at least one thing and that is "life evolves." He said people will come and go in our lives as we change and move on to different phases. He told me it won't always be easy, but that's ok, it's not supposed to be. We continued to talk for over an hour, just the two of us, about life, death, family, friends, good, bad, etc. I have to say I'm blessed to have a father like I do and family and friends that I have. Even those that I'm not in contact with anymore and those I haven't even met yet. I'm thankful for them all. 

Where to start?

Sooo, this is my first attempt at blogging. No, take that back, 2nd attempt. The first didn't go so well (obviously) so I'm trying again. I just need a place to put down my thoughts and anything else I feel the need to share. My life has been pretty crazy/upside down/unnormal/tough for awhile now. I'll start with how I got the name for my blog... "Never The Same." My computer is in my extra bedroom, along with a lot of my books that have to do with psychology and education - seeing as how I am a school psychologist, this makes sense. Well I was trying to think of a name and I looked over at my books and the first one I looked at is called Never The Same... Coming to Terms With The Death of a Parent. It fits me since I have lost a parent, and because I feel that no day is ever like any other. I have lots of things I could talk (type) about right now, but just thought I would start with something simple, like talking about me! :) 

I live in Spartanburg, SC and am starting my second year as a school psychologist. For those that don't know what that is, it is NOT a guidance counselor, and it is NOT one of those people that tries to "figure you out." I work with students who are in special education or who might need special education. I do a lot of evaluating students, this includes looking at their cognitive (IQ) ability, achievement, social/emotional issues, and whatever else might come up. I really enjoy it, but it definitely has it's moments of being tough, but things always lighten up when I work with a student that does something to make me laugh or smile. 

I live with my dog, Dixie, who is almost 5 years old and is the sweetest pound puppy ever. People think she is a pit bull, but she isn't. She keeps me lots of company and I probably would not have made it through grad school without her. I have a wonderful boyfriend, Alex, whom I have been dating for almost 5 years... yep 5!!! About the only question I get about him is when we are getting married. Well my answer is only God knows! We talk about it some, but honestly we are just enjoying dating each other and being with each other, friends, and family. We have no need to rush anything (obviously, since it's been 5 years), and I'm ok with that. There are still things we learn about each other all the time and we are not a "typical" couple living at home with our parents waiting to leave the nest. We have one parent between the two of us, when often people have 4. Of course, every couple is unique, but anyone that knows Alex, knows he is definitely one of a kind!! Which is why I love him so much. 

Well, much more to come about my life, work, family, and friends. I hope I can make it past one post on this blog!